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working out

Back on the Bandwagon

Who knew life could be this normal? This is not normal in a bad or boring way, no, quite the opposite; normal in an amazing, satisfying, happy and fulfilling way. A life I thought I did not deserve has found me.  Love, joy, laughter, family, friends, even just a daily routine… life is good, very good.  Some might argue that everyone (well almost everyone) deserves some basic happiness.  Maybe this is true. Life is neither always fair, nor are we capable of understanding why things happen or don’t happen the way we might like them to. Given the aforementioned, I will neither question nor attempt to understand how or why my life is good – it just is, and I am very grateful for it.20160815_064810

Romance has put a few pounds back on – yes… I haven’t been careful enough.  A lot of eating out and a lot of simply enjoying myself. I know how to take it off and my intentions are to do so. My journey however has taught me personal joy apart from the weight I carry, or the size clothing I wear.

I have embraced my role as a survivor and a voice for sexually abused women, but I am no longer a loud lone voice. Thirty years later I have an army of women and men behind me.  I am not fighting the battle on my own.  I am standing with thousands of others who now hear me, whose voices resound with strength and power. I have passed the torch to those with the power and strength I can no longer afford to offer.

For me happiness is not about settling or acceptance. It is about savoring joy, passion, feeling content and connected. The “pursuit” of happiness now seems somewhat futile. I feel happiness comes when you are meant to have it simply because you now understand it, and can appropriately appreciate it.

So once again I embark on weight loss and fitness training.  I am very happy, but I am aware that sustaining a healthy BMI and staying in shape will enable me to remain happy, and physically and emotionally strong for a long long time.

I am embarrassed to say I have put on about 15+ pounds and I haven’t been exercising with any regularity.  Back on the bandwagon for me.  But like my tattoo reminds me each and every day – PERSEVERE. The 15 will drop off and I will regain my physical strength again. I love my family, my partner, my friends, my home, San Diego, my job, my garden, my writing, etc., but I must love me more and put my health, and ultimately long term happiness first.  I know how great I feel when I am healthy and satisfied with my appearance. I am healthy and satisfied with my appearance, but I feel it slipping and it scares me after everything I went through to get where I am.20161018_08280320161018_082716

With the support and love of everyone around me I will get back to the best me I can be.


A bit about exercise.  First I want to tell you – although I’ve done a ton of it over the last year and a half or so I STILL HATE IT.  When I am done the endorphins are released, I am in a great mood and feeling wonderful – that is the ONLY saving grace.  It’s a shame sex doesn’t burn as many calories because at least you are having fun during, and get all the same post activity benefits!

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - Great Big Stuff!
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels – Great Big Stuff!

Since all the rehearsing and then the performances of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels at Rockwall Community Playhouse my schedule changed dramatically, and I could not make it to the gym, nor did I have any energy left to do so.  But, during the show I did a lot of dancing which used different muscles – muscles I had forgotten I had.  I pushed myself even though I am not much of a dancer and pretty much an uncoordinated klutz.  I loved it, and now I think I want to take dance lessons again (I did it as a kid.).  Maybe it will help me be a bit less of an uncoordinated klutz?? Now I just need to get our choreographer to start an adult class at the studio where she teaches. Moving to music seems to make moving easier… hence my enjoyment of Richard Simmons as well.

The key is to find something you enjoy to do when it comes to moving and that when done with some intensity will burn a decent amount of calories if you are trying to drop the pounds.  I don’t really enjoy the gym but know I probably need to go back to stay healthy – it’s not all about weight, but about staying fit as well. Aerobic/cardio movement is very important for your heart and burning calories, but so is strength and resistance training because building muscle helps you burn more calories. Staying fit gives you more energy in general and keeps you healthier.  I firmly believe it boosts both your metabolism (duh!) AND your immune system.  I was not sick once while I stayed working out routinely.

Another key is… IF you are going to join a gym, join one that is VERY close to home.  If you have to travel more than 10 minutes to get to your gym, it’s not likely that you will go with any regularity.  I am very lucky, as we live basically around the corner from an LA Fitness. Having to pass by it every day also helps pour on the guilt of not getting back there – you pay for it… go.  Growing up Jewish, let me tell you… guilt works.

Some people will tell you to not eat before working out and others will tell you to have something in your stomach.  Honestly, I am not sure which answer is best, I think it’s a personal choice. I prefer working out on an empty stomach as there is less chance of feeling sick during or afterwards.  This choice forced me to work out in the morning before starting my day – and I am NOT a morning person.  But, after having forced myself into this routine, mornings have become a bit easier for me now.

Let me share with you the supplements I take on a daily basis which I also think help quite a bit.

  • Biotin (cause my hair and nails are very thin)
  • A women’s multivitamin
  • Calcium + Vitamin D (for bone density)
  • Echinacea & Goldenseal (for my immune system)
  • Probiotics (for digestion)

If you are prone to urinary tract infections I would add a cranberry supplement, and be sure to eat yogurt routinely or add a live culture supplement as well.

I think it always all comes back to staying happy – which makes it easier to stay healthy.  Finding yourself… finding joy in a variety of things, 02 Four Weddings 11 x 17doing them consistently and always giving 110%.  I know that is not practical for most people on a daily basis, but it’s something to strive for.  I’m auditioning for another production… this time a comedy at Rover Dramawerks in Plano, TX.  Even the name of the play is funny: Four Weddings and an Elvis.  There won’t be any dancing, but again it will bring me the joy necessary to continue moving forward as a healthy and happy human being.  I’d ask that you wish me luck, or say “Break a leg!” but given my history that would be something I might actually do.


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