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karma

With Gratitude and Overwhelming Emotion

Countless acknowledgements are in order, and although many of them are to be extended to my close friends and family, the majority of them seem need to be directed to those I have yet to meet. It took 30 years of repeatedly trying to be heard, never wavering, or changing my story, to finally reach people who listen and believe. The following particular Facebook post brought tears of vindication to my eyes.

shai's thankyou
An AMAZING Sentiment from Someone I Have Yet to Meet

I want the world to hear my THANK YOU, my THANK YOU for finally listening. So here is my public THANK YOU – a follow up to my thank you on Facebook. After everything I have been through the value of all the supportive “comments” on this blog, and the incredible explosion of readership since the release of the New York Times article has just blown me away.  As of this moment there have been close to 6,500 views on the blog.  This may seem inconsequential to some who have thousands of friends and followers on their Facebook pages alone, but to me the value cannot be measured. The comments and the readership mean more than anyone will ever understand. I could be crass, – say “too little too late”, or “long time coming”, but no, I understand that EVERYTHING happens when it does because the universe has a reason for things to transpire the way they do. From the bottom of my heart, soul and spirit I am truly humbled by all the support and immensely thankful to each and every one of you. (I know much of this is redundant from Facebook, but I wanted to be sure to reach all who deserved a thank you.)

Thank you note with smiley face , isolated on white

Getting my hopes up is not something I am willing to do after years of frustration, silencing and disappointment, BUT I feel like the universe is starting to line up, and karma is starting to catch up.  And, when that does…beautiful, holy things can happen.

Maybe Mordechai Winiarz or Marc Gafni or whomever he is right now will no longer hurt others – maybe the universe will see to it.

If some influential powerful person(s) is out there is reading this blog, please make sure my story reaches the right people.  The right people could be the media (press, television), politicians, high powered CEOs (Mackey comes to mind), etc.  There are already such people working in the background Elizabeth Sorvillo who has helped beyond measure, but continuing to get my blog out there can only be positive.  Here are links to the relevant posts:

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-6X       Not Just a Man with a “Troubled Past”… A SEXUAL PREDATOR

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-3s        The Cycle of Insanity a Brief Follow Up

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-3A       Don’t Silence a Cry for Help

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-3M      Reopening the Wound

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-3Z       Returning to Me & the Beginning of the End

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-4k       The Time For Change is Now

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-5s       Achieving “Closure”

http://wp.me/p6RHtL-72       Some Time to Process and Respond

Returning to me and the beginning of the end…

moving-onI allowed this sociopath to take so many years of my life. I was a kid, and now as a more fully conscious adult I can take that back. There was a turning point some time ago, when I made the resolution that I would no longer permit Marc Gafni to take anything more from my being, or cause me more pain. It would be much easier to tell everyone who is now in contact with me, or has been over the years; “Sorry, I’ve put that part of my past behind me, and that’s where it has to stay for my own personal preservation, and for my family and loved ones. I’ve moved on.” I certainly understand those in this tangled web who have made just that choice. It is in the past, and I have moved on; I have five wonderful children, a partner who loves me and a supportive family. It will however always be a part of who I am, and I cannot sit back and watch 40 years worth of victims suffer in silence. My story may have been shared first and multiple times over the years, but it certainly will not be the last to be shared. I feel the need to be there, listen and validate anyone this man manipulated, controlled, coerced and/or forced into a submissive relationship, sexual or otherwise. I had so few who were willing listen or believe.email

As of today I have heard from three survivors. Each conversation has been over an hour and very cathartic. I know there are more who want, and need to talk. If you are reading this, I am here, I will listen to whatever you are comfortable sharing, and will validate your expression. Leave a brief or detailed comment on my blog with your email and I will return it, you can even remain anonymous should you so choose – you have my word.

With the above being said, unless necessary, or until the journalist publishes his impending article (which I envision as the catalyst for the beginning of his end) I am going back to blogging about weight loss, my creative life, sharing other life events, and other things most of you who have been reading will find rather boring in comparison. But – I do have a life, family, friends and a creative soul with positive things to share and put out into the world. I hope Mordechai Winiarz (aka Marc Gafni) gets everything that’s coming to him, and that karma finally does its job. Like any superhero (to which I honestly do not compare myself), I will be here to help when I am needed, but will resume my true identity, my “Peter Parker” or “Diana Prince” life.

The Cycle of Insanity a Brief Follow Up

With the events in Paris and all the unspeakable horrors around our world sharing my prior blog seems trivial, almost selfish. I want to help others, and I know one person CAN move mountains with the appropriate determination and PERSEVERANCE. One small voice can be heard if the right personalbert_einstein_head or people are really listening.

Why again?  Why now?  I actually have no idea.  Maybe people just wants to make money off of our painful memories? But maybe, just maybe this is the right time, and karma will take its appropriate course for all the innocent victims he left behind. Or maybe I am just a gullible idealist. Yesterday’s blog is not just my story, there are numerous victims. And although trivial in comparison to world events, removing one hurtful human being from the fabric of our population can only be an impetus for positive change.

From experience I can tell you just how hard it is to know whom to trust. Unfortunately, I have always been too trusting, and I still am. I always want to believe that people are good at heart, and that hurting others is not what most individuals set out to do. Even after years of being betrayed and hurt by others my general belief system has yet to change. I suppose I epitomize that well known definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein.

windows-and-doorsFor me I suppose it’s always been about PERSEVERANCE. I continue to try incorrect paths, and open wrong doors and windows. Or maybe I’m just hard headed. I think my general belief that humanity is good, is what keeps me opening those windows and doors and heading down those paths. This blog, this NY Times article, all my contacts with new influential people may once again amount to no change; and Marc Gafni (aka Mordechai Winiarz) may continue to hurt others the way he has for the past 3-4 decades – but it wont be because I didn’t do everything in my power to expose the truth. I would not venture to tell anyone what to believe or think – I can only rest at night knowing with confidence that I have spoken the truth. I have told and retold my story with courage, tenacity and hope.

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