“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs
This is a great quote. Never thought I would quote Steve Jobs, but “having the courage to follow your heart and intuition” is something I have struggled with for years. People think I have so much courage for speaking out, and continuing to speak out. When I originally spoke in 1986, it was from fear not courage – I was terrified of him. The courage came over the years, as did the awakening that listening to your heart and intuition is of utmost importance.
You can push the feelings down for just so long. You can ignore them, you can pretend they don’t exist, you can compartmentalize them, but regardless they are still there. Good or bad they need light shining on them and they need to be realized in your heart. I still have not let all these emotions come into the light, although more and more of them appear with each ticking hour these past two plus months.
By letting some of the emotions out, I’ve been able to let others in so there is always a silver lining.
Some people are so afraid of their emotions, afraid that their heart will not lead them in the “right” direction, so afraid they just refuse to look at them at all. I know, I used to be that person. Most of my choices in life have been made by weighing pros and cons, writing lists, asking opinions, drawing and graphing charts, planning and preparing until I feel “certain” that I am doing the “right” or “correct” thing. The one choice I know I made from true emotion, was the choice to speak out. It may have been from fear, but it was real, not calculated, not weighed or measured. It was the best choice I ever made in my life even though the immediate aftermath was horrific; because now that choice is helping and inspiring so many. That choice, born from emotion and feeling – is what will bring about healing for myself, and so many others. This in and of itself reminds me to listen to my heart, to use the analytical as necessary, but to make my decisions from a place of true emotion.
It’s funny really because there are thousands of people who support me now, who know the truth and see Marc Gafni for the narcissistic sociopath he is. Again, this has all come to fruition for me because I made a decision to respond to a real emotion with an instinctive reaction.
You would think it shouldn’t have taken me this long to learn such a basic life lesson, I am 45, but it did. The reemergence of this now has brought the importance of living a genuine life – one genuine to your heart, soul and spirit to the forefront. This is not the way I would have chosen to learn this life lesson (by being victimized as a teenager by a very pathological individual), but it is a very important one to learn – and I am grateful that I can use this power to continue to make true genuine heart healing decisions moving forward.