The Time For Change Is Now

spotlightI mentioned that I would not be writing anything regarding my abuse on this blog until the article was published in the New York Times. For three reasons I have changed this decision: 1) It has come to my attention that the article when handed to the editor was so long it would take another week or so before it goes to press. I know that should not make a difference in my world, but somehow it does. I have been trying to prepare myself for life, as I know it to possibly change after this weekend. I have been anxious to say the least. 2) I decided to write this now, because many readers have brought to my attention that not only does this blog help other survivors gain the courage to speak, but also it can, and should be a catalyst for change across all aspects of this sickening problem of sexual abuse. 3) Finally with the premier of the movie SPOTLIGHT I felt the timing important, as the awareness and cry for victims rights is rising across the nation.

First and foremost the legal system:

legal scaleLet us take a look at how sexual abuse is generally defined legally.

The US Code Chapter 109A defines sexual abuse in the following manner[1]:

  • Section 2242  Sexual abuse: “… (1) causes another person to engage in a sexual act by threatening or placing that other person in fear (other than by threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person will be subjected to death, serious bodily injury, or kidnapping); or (2) engages in a sexual act with another person if that other person is – (A) incapable of appraising the nature of the conduct; or (B) physically incapable of declining participation in, or communicating unwillingness to engage in, that sexual act; or attempts to do so, shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for any term of years or for life.”
  • Section 2244  Abusive Sexual Contact: “… knowingly engages in or causes sexual contact with or by another person, if so to do would violate – (1) subsection (a) or (b) of section 2241 of this title had the sexual contact been a sexual act, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; (2) section 2242 of this title had the sexual contact been a sexual act, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than three years, or both; (3) subsection (a) of section 2243 of this title had the sexual contact been a sexual act, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than two years, or both; (4) subsection (b) of section 2243 of this title had the sexual contact been a sexual act, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than two years, or both; or (5) subsection (c) of section 2241 of this title had the sexual contact been a sexual act, shall be fined under this title and imprisoned for any term of years or for life. (b) In Other Circumstances. … knowingly engages in sexual contact with another person without that other person’s permission shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than two years, or both. (c) Offenses Involving Young Children. – If the sexual contact that violates this section (other than subsection (a)(5)) is with an individual who has not attained the age of 12 years, the maximum term of imprisonment that may be imposed for the offense shall be twice that otherwise provided in this section.’
Definitions used in this chapter: As used in this chapter – “… (2) the term “sexual act” means – (A) contact between the penis and the vulva or the penis and the anus, and for purposes of this subparagraph contact involving the penis occurs upon penetration, however slight; (B) contact between the mouth and the penis, the mouth and the vulva, or the mouth and the anus; (C) the penetration, however slight, of the anal or genital opening of another by a hand or finger or by any object, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade, or arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person; or (D) the intentional touching, not through the clothing, of the genitalia of another person who has not attained the age of 16 years with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade, or arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person; (3) the term “sexual contact” means the intentional touching, either directly or through the clothing, of the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks of any person with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade, or arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person;” [See full legal code by following link at footnote #1 below.]

To most of you reading this, the above will all just be legal jargon, but if it weren’t for the current state driven statutes of limitations it would be a lot more than that to me and many many others. I intended to provide here an alphabetical listing by state of statutes, but it would render my readers’ unconscious or numb long before they reached “Colorado”. As of 2013 there are eight states that do not have any statute of limitations for prosecuting felony sexual assault. Delaware has no statute of limitations for ANY sexual offense.

Over the past decade or more as sexual abuse scandals have become so prevalent in our country many states have changed their statues and continue to do so. “Many states have extended he time period of the existing statute of limitations regarding civil claims”, others “have temporarily lifted their statute of limitations in order to give victims an opportunity to raise civil claims against their predators.” And additionally some “states have also found additional reasons to toll the statute of limitations, such as in circumstances when an institution conceals evidence of a child sex crime.”[2] In particular cases involving clergy have been front and center. “Clergy sexual offenders in the Church were more likely to be targeting whomever was around them (and they had unsupervised access to) regardless of age and gender.”[3] Hmmmm, sound familiar?????

Again to be clear when it comes to my personal experience:

  1. I was under the age of consent I had just turned 16, in 1986 I believe the age of consent was 18 and other extenuating legal issues/circumstances apply as well; he was both more than 5 years my senior, and in a position of authority.
  2. There was penetration (not penile, but with fingers). There was contact with the penis and the vulva, but no penetration.
  3. I said “No.” Actually more than once.
  4. I did speak out, but no one who would or could affect change would listen.

So, what is wrong here? Why did Yeshiva University (who heard my story at the time directly from me, and stories from others) permit Mordechai Winiarz (aka Marc Gafni) to continue his employ as the director of the then Jewish Public School Youth Movement? How has he continued to reinvent himself time and again, teaching in positions of authority with full-unsupervised access to victims of all ages? How many more individuals does he need to victimize before someone does something to put a stop to his predatory behavior.

How many other victims of other predators must go invalidated, unheard and without justice?

Second, the clergy:

Clergy Representing ALL faiths... this effects ALL of us, regardless of our beliefs.
Clergy Representing ALL faiths… this effects ALL of us, regardless of our beliefs.

It would only be posturing on my part to provide any answers when dealing with the complexity that is organized religion and its leadership, or other authority figures. I can say only this. Something needs to be done. As a step toward prevention, possibly a better vetting process needs to exist, or some standardized internal system put in place for adults in authority positions interacting with followers?

I’d like to direct you to another blog dedicated to giving survivors a voice. Read Danny’s story – understand that this is so much bigger than one person, one predator, one pedophile, or even one victim. Where there is one, there is many. http://blog.burnandrotinhell.com/2015/11/dannys-story-part-two-this-is-what.html


 

[1] http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/uscode/18/I/109A

[2] Statutes of Limitations for Civil Actions for Offenses Against Children (2013 Update)

[3] The Clergy Sex Abuse Crisis and the Legal Responses by James T. O’Reilly, Margaret S.P. Chalmers ©2014


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3 Comments

  • MsWoodman

    December 27, 2015

    Thanks for writing, your voice will help others.
    The excuses that come up in defense of pedophiles and or rapists before they are found out in ways that can no longer be ignored are telling. People don’t want to think a person they trust is capable of something so vile, it’s easier for them to blame the victim. But the more people speak out and the words of apologists and deniers are written a pattern emerges and hopefully more young people will be protected, believed and supported.

  • SDK

    December 28, 2015

    The only difference between this guy and most rapists is that he happens to be smart. So he’s able to spin excuses, make people doubt themselves, take intelligent people by surprise with violence, and present himself as sadly misunderstood.

    it’s all lies. He’s just a rapist, plain and simple, and he’s going to keep raping women and teenagers until someone puts him in jail (or kills him).

    Many men who are afraid of feminism wish for a more primitive time when men could act freely on their desires for teenagers. What they forget is that in a more primitive time, they would be dead, because the men of the tribe would have killed them.

    Since this behavior is no longer legal, we have to take the longer road and bring him down in other ways. Don’t worry, it will come.

  • I cannot thank you enough for standing up and using the God-given voice that you have and making your true self be heard. I am right there in the trenches with you, sister, and it is a war-cry long unsung and it is now echoing out across this broken world. Just like you, each of us musters up the courage and conviction to speak the unspeakable truth and let that sound that they tried to stifle be heard. You and me are giving others like us the gumption and recognition to that dark kept secret we dared not utter unto our grave for fear of losing something we were too young to know we had: the credibility and authenticity of truth that people feel and recognize whether they like it or not. I am speaking out against the incest abuse of my grandfather inflicted upon his two daughters and dead son, against the hand of my own mother and uncle inflicted upon my infant skin up until the age where I could speak. I was brainwashed into believing I would be de-adopted if I told, I would not be believed because I was a bastard child to begin with, an outcast of society conceived by an unwed mother too young to know better herself. I am tired of being the scapegoat and folding under the gas-lighting weapons of destruction that they hide behind their wealth, their status in society, their sheeps clothing that this child cried wolf to and no one dared hear. I have exposed them for who they really are and even offered an opportunity for them to get right with God, me and themselves and let us all heal together but that is asking too much of a predator bent on saving face at the expense of others souls. They would rather live in the denial that anything ever happened, to them and to me. But I am a proud soldier of love that has the proof of my battle scars and I am now old enough and proud enough to show the world. I have been somewhere dark. I have been held under by a darkness and these are the marks I acquired on the battlefield of my soul that led me to such a strength and truth inside me that was only hinted at in my youth; but I believe they knew that light was there inside of me and that is exactly what they tried to hold down under the water to drown, to hold blindfolded and to hush so deep inside with their abuse and the shame, guilt, fear and disgust that they infected me with. But, just like you, I have been risen up, resurrecting that light from your torch to mine and onward it will burn because we will not stand down ever again! Amen! and Amen! Keep going, Judy, on the wings of those Angels we will certainly soar, side by side, world without end.

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