Body Shaming

I think it takes a strong person to ignore the opinions of others, especially when you are young. Body shaming needs to stop – some people are just not built to be Twiggy. Kids do not need to be bullied to the point of suicide because they don’t fit today’s mold of “beautiful” – I am sure these teens are all beautiful inside and out. Being overweight is not ugly, some people can’t help their size due to medical issues and those people need to focus on being healthy. Others are overweight for a variety of reasons: emotional eating is obviously at the top of the list. This is hard to overcome but I hope to help those of you in this position realize that there are other things to make you happy and being healthy will help with being happy.

At this point in my life (because I know what makes me happy and how to pursue that) I really don’t care what others may or may not say about me, the way I dress, the way I do or do not wear make-up, etc. I suppose that is why I posted my before pictures and had it put up on national television without thinking twice.

After all this weight loss I have quite a bit of excess skin hanging around (particularly around my abdomen). I can’t afford the surgery to remove it – and although I would do it if I could afford it, I’m okay with it being there and when I want to hide it for some reason or another (i.e. an audition, a date night, etc.) that’s why I own spanks. I’m so okay with it, here is a pic:

my belly
Yes pretty panties make me feel good, LOL!

People are beautiful in all shapes and sizes. Its part of what makes us unique. And what matters is that you are confident and comfortable in your body but most of all are HEALTHY and HAPPY.

It’s not about being “skinny” or about wearing certain clothes (although a new wardrobe is a really nice benefit), its about feeling good and taking care of yourself for you and your family. Don’t let your goal to be as skinny or thin as so-and-so – set your goal to be the best you you can be. Take into account your height, your bone structure, whether or not you have had children, etc. Be realistic and strive to be your best self. After children your abdominal muscles are the most difficult to return to pre-pregnancy. And those of you who know me, know I have 5 children all of whom I am very proud of, and all of whom took a toll on my body. I nursed them all and my boobs look a lot like my abdomen (another surgery I have no money for)! I wouldn’t let anyone cut on my face, but I know a flat belly and some larger boobs would make me feel even better. I am happy now and those things do not determine my happiness I just think they may enhance it – LOL!

I NEVER thought I would be a size 6. Even though I weighed less pre-pregnancy than I do now, I was an 8. I’m sure the fashion industry has changed the sizes a bit to make us all feel better about ourselves, but my dress size does not define me. I never set a goal to be a 6. I set a realistic weight goal and when I achieved it was going to be satisfied with whatever “size” I was. I will admit it is nice not having to shop in stores tailored to larger women because the stylish things have still not completely caught up with the average woman (unless you have a small fortune to spend). I no longer ONLY wear black but it is still one of may favorite go to-s, it’s a hard habit to break and I guess I really enjoy wearing black as well – it goes with everything. And for me ORANGE is NOT the new BLACK (although the show is great – from what I have seen of it). Orange, like yellow makes this pale chick look a bit jaundice.

I can wear heals again – which is a double-edged sword. I don’t’ really like to wear them, but they do complete a nice outfit and according to my future wife they are very sexy (even though I tower over her in them). I don’t wear them often as they are not great for your feet, but with the musical theatre dancing I have had to wear character shoes quite a bit. Still uncoordinated and falling over, but the shoes don’t really make much of a difference with that tendency.

About make-up: I don’t wear it everyday. I likely never will. Probably because growing up I heard things from my mother that I interpreted negatively whether or not they truly were meant that way. Every time I wore make-up I was told the same thing: “You look so beautiful when you wear make-up!” or “You look so nice you should wear make-up more often.” I internalized this to mean basically I was ugly unless I had make-up on. Well I’ve over come that sort of. I wear make-up now if I think it’s going to make me feel good that day, or if I need to for an audition or performance. I know someone who hasn’t even let her husband see her without a full face of make-up and they have been married for close to 10 years. I personally think that is a bit extreme, but to each his own… again do what makes YOU happy for YOU – not for others. If she is applying make-up every morning because it makes her feel good about herself, then why not? Here is a pic of me without make-up, and one with. I like both!

Just keep moving forward.


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